How to Overcome a Fear of Sexual Performance Anxiety

Anxiety is a pathological condition characterized by irrational and excessive feelings of fear and anxiety, which are accompanied by signs caused by hyperactivity of the autonomic nervous system. It is different from fear, which represents a response to a known cause. Anxiety is a diffuse, very unpleasant, often vague feeling of anxiety, associated with one or more bodily experiences – for example, gaps in the stomach, chest tightness, palpitations, rapid breathing, headache, or a sudden need for excretion. The anxiety of some degree can be an experience known to every human being, which refers to the uncertainty directed towards everyday life.

A condition can be called an anxiety disorder when the anxiety is strong, long-lasting, and limits psychological and social functioning.

Common features of all anxiety disorders are:

  • Subjective feeling of anxiety,
  • Acute onset (long-lasting, but their evolution is not long-lasting),
  • Relatively preserved working ability,
  • Recognition of pathological thoughts,
  • Lack of alienation from reality.

If the anxiety becomes intense or chronic, a full evaluation of the situation and circumstances is justified. By evaluation, we mean a careful assessment of the situation in which the patient finds himself, an attempt to reconstruct the cause and the consequence of the disorder. It is very important to give the patient enough information as well as help him understand his feelings. Intellectual and emotional analysis of the situation together with the patient is essential. Temporary medication can help in cases when it is functional patient capacity impaired. In severe chronic cases, long-term therapy is indicated.

We have socialized ourselves by thinking of sex as an act, a show with an expected role that we must respect and that can cause us many fears. The sources from which they originate are diverse. Anxiety in sex can stem from the expectations imposed by masculinity in our culture, from the image of sex created by the porn industry, from the media perception of a man who in everything, including sex, must be up to the task or from the need for our partner to rate sex with the highest grade. What is indisputable is that its most common causes are:

– Fear of failure in bed

– inferiority

– dissatisfaction with one’s physical appearance

– Concerns about the size of the genitals

– fear of excessive or premature ejaculation

– poor communication with the partner

– fear of sexually transmitted diseases …

Talking to a partner could help

If you have anxiety, you’ve probably thought of tranquilizers. They quickly remove anxiety but bring sluggishness and drowsiness so they are not the best choice before sex. Sedatives are not suitable for long-term uninterrupted use due to the potential for habit and addiction. Antidepressants reduce anxiety and can be taken long-term without the risk of developing habits and addictions, but they dilute the interest in sex for some users. Exceptions are newer antidepressants that do not compromise sexual drive.

Your anxiety may have no basis because you are attractive enough and capable of good sex. But even if you are rightly worried that you will not like your partner or that you will not satisfy him, by applying these therapies you can alleviate anxiety and become sexually functional. If your anxiety stems from erectile dysfunction, there are medications on the market that will remove that worry from you. If you have a problem with premature ejaculation, some techniques will allow you to take control. You can click here for more information about it.

Daily moderate exercise

Exercise can be just as effective as relaxation, and if you do it together, the effects will be faster and greater (by the way, exercising will lift your fitness, strengthen and lose a few pounds). A good option is to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist, preferably one who is well versed in sexuality and in whom you trust. The expert will ask you about your sexual history, check how long you have had sexual anxiety and what specifically you are nervous and tense about. Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy is a popular conversational technique aimed at convincing the patient of his misconceptions about himself – if they are present.

Slow down with foreplay

Men often need to get to work as soon as possible. Slow down! Give your body (and brain) time to get aroused, enjoy the easy conquest of your partner. Postpone the end, spice up the sex by playing. Believe that your partner will be grateful for that. Expand your horizons, you should not be strictly tied only to the act of concrete performance. In addition to intensifying sexual tension at a given moment, foreplay will spice up the relationship.

Focus on your partner

If the cause of your anxiety is the enjoyment of pleasure or fear of receiving pleasure, perhaps you should focus your attention and energy on your partner during foreplay. Whether you massage, kiss or simply hug her, it can help you relax in a sexual game. It is not uncommon for men to be less tense when their partner reaches orgasm first. This aspect of foreplay can help you take a step towards more relaxed sex.

Take care of your diet

Believe it or not, the amount of food and what you eat is another factor that affects your sex life. You may already know that bad food causes lethargy and bad moods. Besides, it affects hormones and blood flow. Since good sex requires endurance, the advice is to avoid foods rich in carbohydrates and sugar, as well as foods high in protein such as chicken and eggs.

Final thoughts

Sex does not define you as a man or a woman. It’s not a show to excel; it’s just an experience that has to be shared by two adults who agree. It’s not an opportunity to impress and it’s okay to make mistakes.

Remember, almost all men have sexual anxiety at some point in their lives. For some, it is short-lived and can occur after a new relationship. While most men bounce right away, others get stuck for a while, but eventually, get over it. So, let go of your expectations, relax and enjoy!